Vestal's Salacious Diary
by Rakked
Summary: One of the Vestal's trinkets is her Salacious Diary, where she keeps all of her spicy fantasies safely locked away. Me and some other Darkest Dungeon fans decided to write part of that diary from the perspective of the default Vestal, Junia. Spicy but SFW, thanks to Junia's habit of scribbling out the parts where her mind REALLY wanders into dangerous territory.
1. Abomination: The Sin of Onan

_Dear Diary_

 _He's doing it on purpose. I knew we should never have let him stay in the Hamlet._

 _I felt so sorry for him when I first saw him get off the carriage, all those chains draped over his half-naked_ – **[remainder of line scribbled out]**

 _I even touched his shoulder, meaning to offer him a blessing, and then he turned and I saw the mark on his face and the bestial lust behind his eyes._

 _We should never have let him stay. I should have pushed harder. I know Reynauld would have backed me up. He's such a firm, strong_ – **[remainder of line scribbled out]**

 _He's doing it on purpose. I know he is. I've been keeping an eye on him, watching when he goes loping out of the Hamlet, making sure he doesn't do anything to anyone. There are so many pure, nubile young women here that he could grab in those monstrous arms, bind up with his chains, push down into the dirt and_ – **[two paragraphs scribbled out]**

 _His demon is affecting me, I know it. Why else would I have reacted the way I did?_

 _I tracked him out a mile from the Hamlet on a night with a gibbous moon. He crept along to a moon-drenched pool. I watched him strip off his chains, then his rags. I was shaking all over, wondering what he was going to do._

 _Then he dove into the pool, and when he broke the surface he had changed. My heart almost stopped. Water was streaming off his huge body in the moonlight, and…_

 _It must have been his demon. I couldn't look away. My sinful eyes could not look away._

 _He is so much bigger when he's changed._

 _He committed the sin of Onan in the moon pool and I watched him do it._

 _Light forgive me, Flame purify me. I should tear my own eyes out. But those hands, gripping himself, and_ – **[remainder of line scribbled out]**

 _I need to clean my temple garments._

 _Junia._


	2. Man-at-Arms: Sometimes it Just Slips Out

_Dear Diary_

 _Audrey is horrid and I refuse to bless her until she apologizes._

 _We were on an expedition in the Cove with Barristan and Paracelsus. We were resting by the water in a secluded little nook, relaxing and praying to steel our hearts for the final push._

 ** _I_** _was praying, anyway. Audrey was crocheting and Paracelsus was… doing something with her leeches._

 _Barristan sometimes forgets he's campaigning in mixed company now. I glanced up and saw him stripping his shirt off those big muscles. He started flexing and stretching in the firelight, rubbing himself down. He's really extraordinarily manly. It makes me wonder how he smells._

 _I dropped my mace on my foot because a spark from the fire hit me,_ **not** _because of anything else. When I picked it up Audrey and Paracelsus were both looking at me, and Audrey had the most wretchedly mocking smirk on her face. I wanted to hit her._

 _Anyway, Barristan was fingering this gash in his side he got from one of those nasty harpoons the fish men use. That is all I was thinking of when I offered to lay my hands on him! Audrey has a filthy, evil, sinful little mind._

 _She started whispering to Paracelsus, and I know what she was talking about. She was probably saying I just wanted to run my hands over his chest, maybe press my body up against his. I bet she said I was planning on pulling him off to the side and licking him clean like Boudica keeps saying she wants to. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she was accusing me of wanting to strip him down the rest of the way and_ **[scribbled out]** _like those dirty girls at the tavern._

 _I don't. I mean, I wasn't. I wouldn't do that. I wasn't even thinking anything like that._

 _My face was burning and I had to excuse myself to pray and meditate alone._

 _On the way back to the Hamlet, she accused me of having "daddy issues." I don't know what she means by that, but I have certainly never accidentally called Barristan "daddy" in her hearing. I feel sure I would have remembered._

 _I have almost never felt so embarrassed in my life. I refuse to bless her until she apologizes._

 _I don't know if I'll be able to look Barristan in the eye for a week._

 _Junia._


	3. Leper: The Coping Technique Backfires

_Dear Diary_

 _Baldwin saved my life yesterday._

 _It was in the Ruins. We had been delving into that grim labyrinth for what seemed like days. I'd been holding up my mace and Versebook for so long that my arms wouldn't stop shaking._

 _A band of those vile cultists ambushed us. I had stepped to the front of the party to examine a religious tapestry, cruelly desecrated, when rushing out of the dark came one of the beautifully muscled fiends that form their front lines._

 _His blades slashed right towards my throat and I could not lift my mace in time._

 _Then Baldwin was there. He flung himself upon me, knocking us both down, and the brawler was hewed down by Dismas. Or so I believe. I normally find it difficult to avoid watching that dashing fellow at work, but my attention was wholly caught by Baldwin._

 _This is shameful to admit, but there have been times when focusing on the holy Verses has not sufficed to… clear my head of certain thoughts. When my mind has been most preoccupied, when I have been unable to purge myself of thoughts of Dismas, or Barristan, holding me tight and_ **[two lines scribbled out]** , _I have at times used the grotesque countenance of Baldwin to drive the images away. I have imagined a foul scent, a horrid face, an uncouth manner, rotting arms encircling me, and it has given some measure of relief from my inflamed state._

 _But that night in the Ruins, he fell right on top of me, my legs parting as he drove me to the ground to shield me with his own body. And he did not smell like rot. A potent odor of cleansing herbs and manly sweat penetrated my nostrils. My breath caught in my throat and my eyes locked with his, beneath that golden mask. He grunted as the cultist's weapon hit his armor, and it sounded less like pain and more like a sweeter exertion._

 _There was something deeply troubled in his gaze, like he was remembering things from long ago. Then he pulled himself away and we leapt to our feet to face the apostates. His sword moved mechanically, forward and back, torchlight gleaming on his armor as he rushed their enchantress and thrust into her gasping body._

 _We slept soon after, but it was not thoughts of Dismas' lean, hard body that my sinful mind pressed on me. I inched closer to Baldwin, breathing in the heady smell of those herbs. I say to myself that I was trying not to think of him, but that is a lie._

 _I dreamed of him, the thought of embraces that used to disgust me now seeming sweet and poignant._

 _I am like a rutting dog. Soon I will be dreaming of the fish men. There is no hope for me._

 _Junia_


	4. Bone Captain: Under Pressure

**Vestal's Salacious Diary: Bone Captain**

 _Dear Diary,_

 _My imagination is running away with me lately._

 _We were in the Ruins, dispensing holy justice and saving sacred relics from desecration by the dead things that infest that darkened maze. A noble errand, to be sure, and one not likely to turn my thoughts to sinful matters – or so I thought._

 _More fool me. Sin strikes when we least expect._

 _We pushed into a room dominated by a large sarcophagus, and before us stood a host of lesser skeletons and one great, massive brute clad all in heavy armor that made him look more human than the rest._

 _Baldwin and Barristan made short work of the smaller abominations, but the bone captain resisted their assaults like a mountain. He was so large! And when that mace of his swung down and slammed into the ground, I could feel the vibrations running up my legs and into my body. It was an extraordinary sensation._

 _As I stood there trembling, my knees pressed together, I saw an ancient tapestry hanging behind him, showing an enormous armored man with a masterful face and a huge mace commanding troops into battle, and I instantly realized that this room, this sarcophagus, were in honor of the man whose bones had been so desecrated._

 _The knowledge fired me with holy vigor, and I rushed the monster with my own mace in hand, ready to bring down the vengeance of the Flame on him. He bent down, taking the blow on his back, and simply pushed forward until he had pinned my squirming, writhing body between his own bulk and the stone wall._

 _The feeling of helplessness! The pressure of his body against mine, pressing me into the cool stone! I looked over his shoulder and my eyes locked on the stern gaze of the image of him in life, and a wave of peculiar heat passed up through my body until it exited my mouth in a gasping moan._

 _I'm just glad that gossiping wretch Audrey wasn't there. I'm sure she would have misinterpreted it. Yes, I know I sounded just like those girls I hear in the brothel when I_ _listen as I_ _happen to be passing by, but it was_ not _because I was thinking about that ancient captain in his youth, about the size of his body, his enormous_ **[scribbled out]** _and how he must have entertained many, many women in his life. Maybe two at the same time, or even_ – **[remainder of line scribbled out]**

 _It wasn't._

 _Barristan and Baldwin eventually pulled the thing off me and hacked it to pieces, and I just stood there, gasping and shaking and trying to collect myself._

 _I must get control of these thoughts! They are far too distracting. I cannot be forever thinking of the awful things I know our enemies (and even allies!) plan for me. The horrible rutting of the Swine, the cold embraces of the fish-folk, the wicked lust I'm sure I can see in the eyes of the terrible Weald-hounds. They all want to take my purity, but I'll not falter!_

 _I think I have found the solution. I must catalog their evil desires in detail, to ensure that I do not fall for any of their tricks. To prepare myself, so that I would be strong and not show any unseemly reaction if the Swine abducted me, as I know they want to, trussing me tightly to one of their rough tables and taking it in turn to_ – **[two lines scribbled out]**

 _It is for a good and holy cause, so dwelling on these things can't be sin, I'm sure._

 _I need to go and prepare myself more._

 _Junia._


	5. Crusader: Reynauld and the Diary

_Dear Diary,_

 _I'm quite sure that this is Aubrey's fault. That snippy, wicked girl. She's always telling tales about me, completely inaccurate tales! She must have told him where it was._

 _Anyways, Reynauld found my diary._

 _I kept it so safe! Maybe I left it out once or twice. I certainly wasn't doing it on purpose. Maybe I do think a great deal about what would happen if someone found it, but I'm positive that didn't have any effect on..._

 _Well. The Abbess made him give it back. Thank the Light_ she _didn't read it or I'd be on scullery duty for the next epoch._

 _I'm quite sure he read it. He must have. He keeps giving me these_ looks _and I know what he must be thinking. There's Junia, she's such a loose woman, how can she call herself a Vestal, she must be just aching for someone to_ **[remainder of line scribbled out]**

 _Maybe he wants to do it himself. He's not so pure. I know he was married. Every time he scolds me I'm sure he's thinking of it. Just like Aubrey. They exude lasciviousness. Who knows what they whisper in their minds? They all know of my vows, but I hear them in the night, panting like dogs, their lust fully apparent, and_ **[scribbled out]**

 _He probably sinned with all manner of lustful foreigners while he was away at war. I'm sure he knows all kinds of strange tricks. He's probably thinking about them every time he looks at me._

 _I'm going to see if the Abbess has a stronger chastity belt available._

 _Junia._


End file.
